TimeoutMistakesParentsMake

Timeout Mistakes Parents Make

Every parent uses time outs, but do you know how to do it right? Camilo Ortiz, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and researcher at the State University of New York at Stoney Brook, says, "Timeouts help interrupt a child's bad behavior and give a cooling-off period when a meltdown is about to happen." But in order for this discipline tool to be effective, you must follow a few simple rules. Here, say Dr. Ortiz, are five common pitfalls to avoid.

1. Making time out fun: Your child won't view timeout as a punishment
       if she has fun things to do during it. Find a boring spot in your house
       that doesn't have a lot of distractions, such as a bathroom, a laundry
       room, or a chair in the hallway. "The more boring a timeout is, the
       better," Dr. Ortiz says.

2. Giving your child attention during the timeout: Silence speaks
       louder than words. Therefore, don't talk to or lecture your child during
       a timeout. Kids will take negative attention over being ignored any day.
       Even if your child starts protesting, ignore him until the timeout is over.

3. Making empty threats: Never threaten to put your child in a timeout
       unless you have the time and energy to follow through--even if he acts
       up and resists. Avoid unrealistic statements like "If you don't stop,
       you'll be in timeout all day.'

4. Making timeouts either too short or too long: A child under the age
       of 3 is too young to really understand the concept of a timeout, so
       simply remove your toddler from the situation in which he is
       misbehaving. For older kids, timeouts should last just a few minutes:
       3 minutes for a 3-year-old, 4 for a 4-year-old, and up to 5 for kids 5
       years and older.

5. Not having a backup plan: If your child refuses to go to the timeout
       chair or leaves too soon, you can tell her that you'll now add another
       minute to the timer. You can escort or carry her to the timeout spot,
       but don't get into any discussions. Just tell her that she must stay in the
       chair. If she still refuses, take away a coveted privilege and drop the
       timeout.